Wants to marry, but her family rejects her choice
2003-05-18 11:00:55 | إسلام ويب
السؤال:
What should I do – I want to get married, but he is not of my culture and my family refuses to give their approval? The person I want to marry is very pious and a great Muslim. I would be a fool not to marry. I also feel it is time.
الإجابــة:
Dear Sister,
All praise is to Allah Who has established marriage so that man and woman might enjoy one another in love and mutual regard. In Islam great importance is given to the piety of the husband and wife, much more than any other quality, for it is the degree of their submission to Allah and observance of Islam in Sharia that ultimately will determine their happiness in married life.
One’s culture is not among the criteria that the Prophet, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, cited as the most important when select..ing a suitable partner for marriage. In fact, Prophet Muhammad encouraged parents to marry their daughters to the man whose religion they regarded as good, and added that if they did not do so there would be serious problems (see our fatwa section for details).
On the other hand, it is best for the success of a marriage that the families of the couple agree about the choice of the intended partner. In general, neither partner should marry without the support of their family, but especially the woman, since she must have the consent and approval of her mahram. In your case, you should actively try to get your family to agree to the man of your choice with tact and wisdom. Let them know that you appreciate their concern for your welfare.
Also, seek assistance from a respected person to assist you in persuading them to see your side. Unless there is some other major objection to your choice, they are likely to concede and give their approval.
You should know too that should your family persist in rejecting your choice that Allah may have someone better for you since you indicate that you are ready for marriage and want a pious Muslim husband. So, you must be patient, do your best to persuade your family, listen to their side with an open mind, and make dua to Allah that you seek only what He has decreed as best for you.
We pray that Allah will give you what will please you for His sake in this life and in the Hereafter.
Dear Sister,
All praise is to Allah Who has established marriage so that man and woman might enjoy one another in love and mutual regard. In Islam great importance is given to the piety of the husband and wife, much more than any other quality, for it is the degree of their submission to Allah and observance of Islam in Sharia that ultimately will determine their happiness in married life.
One’s culture is not among the criteria that the Prophet, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, cited as the most important when select..ing a suitable partner for marriage. In fact, Prophet Muhammad encouraged parents to marry their daughters to the man whose religion they regarded as good, and added that if they did not do so there would be serious problems (see our fatwa section for details).
On the other hand, it is best for the success of a marriage that the families of the couple agree about the choice of the intended partner. In general, neither partner should marry without the support of their family, but especially the woman, since she must have the consent and approval of her mahram. In your case, you should actively try to get your family to agree to the man of your choice with tact and wisdom. Let them know that you appreciate their concern for your welfare.
Also, seek assistance from a respected person to assist you in persuading them to see your side. Unless there is some other major objection to your choice, they are likely to concede and give their approval.
You should know too that should your family persist in rejecting your choice that Allah may have someone better for you since you indicate that you are ready for marriage and want a pious Muslim husband. So, you must be patient, do your best to persuade your family, listen to their side with an open mind, and make dua to Allah that you seek only what He has decreed as best for you.
We pray that Allah will give you what will please you for His sake in this life and in the Hereafter.
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