I love my husband very much and want to spend the rest of my life together with him. On a monthly basis we fight and it is usually during my monthly cycle (menses). I get angry, sad, emotional, sensitive, and I sometimes even cry and don’t know why. This has really effected our marriage. My husband and I do not know how to deal with it. My thoughts are very different; whatever he does or doesn’t do makes me sad. I sit and think, why isn’t he romantic or he doesn’t love me and so on. When I do tell him how I feel he sometimes gets angry and says he can’t help that he is not romantic. I would just like to see him try and understand what I go through during my period.

Dear Sister,

May Allah abundantly bless those who believe in Him and humbly seek to obey Him in all of their affairs. Praise is to Allah for joining you and your husband in a happy marriage and one in which you desire to spend the rest of your life together. As you know Allah has blessed the union.. of marriage between a man and a woman that they may enjoy each other, to share affection, and to comfort one another. They are enjoined to overlook each other’s faults and give special thanks for their better qualities.

From your letter, it appears that your marriage is quite sound and filled with much happiness. The major concern or unpleasantness in your relationship seems to occur monthly with the arrival of your menses. The symptoms, the emotional and physical needs, irrational behavior that you describe seem to fit the description of Post-Menstrual Syndrome or PMS. Your experience and that of your husband are not unusual, but quite common for married couples where the wife suffers from PMS.

In addition to being patient, kind, and loving to one another, and all that Islam teaches, you are advised to seek medical consultation to ease the physical symptoms you described. Please take your husband with you so that the two of you share your concerns and desire to find a mutually satisfying solution to your marital problems.

You should encourage your husband to share his views with you and your physician so that both of you can get the maximum benefit from the medical consultation. There is also considerable information readily available on this subject which you and your husband should find helpful. It is quite likely that your physician will prescribe some medication for you to ease your symptoms and we pray that you and your husband will greatly benefit as a result. Remember always that help comes from Allah alone no matter what form it may take.

We thank Allah that for all ills He has created a cure and He does not burden anyone beyond his capacity. We pray for patience to endure whatever He has decreed for us. May Allah bless your marriage and surround you and your love ones with His protection and His Love.