I am 38 years old, married for 5 years and have 2 kids, a 4-year-old son and a 2-year-old daughter. I am confused about whether to marry a Christian girl I met on the Internet. In the beginning I was chatting with her to pass time, but as time passed I realized she has good qualities, such as a clean mind, devoted, and unselfish. We fell in love. Although I am a happily married man, for her good qualities and being willing to accept Islam, I am willing to marry her. However, I have not made a final decision to marry her. Some of the reasons include if I marry her, my wife; her parents and relatives will be hurt. Also, I know such a marriage would have the wrong basis since we met on the Net and became friends, and this could set a bad example for kids and unmarried youth who know me. On the other hand, if I don’t marry her I would miss a chance to bring a good girl into Islam and Almighty Allah might ask me about it on the Day of Judgment. It will be rewarding for me and her also to accept Islam and save her from Hell. Please advise me what to do. What decision will have more weight in Islam? All of her family knows about our relationship and plans. I am afraid if I didn’t marry her, she will choose a non-Muslim to marry and continue as a Christian.

Dear Brother,


It is clear from your description of your problem that you know right from wrong, and because you do; the advice you seek is to practice what you already know, but may not be prepared to accept.


You know that using the Internet to chat with girls is sinful. It opens the door for Satan to entice members of the opposite sex to enter into a forbidden relationship however well meaning they think it may be.

In your case the tender affection of a girl’s heart has been violated whereas the distance which separated the two of you had previously protected it.


In your marriage you have jeopardized the peace and harmony of your home and household due to your disobedience to Allah. When we commit a sinful act, we must immediately repent to Allah, seek His Forgiveness, feel ashamed of our transgression, and vow never to repeat it.


The longer we wait to repent, the more involved and entangled in our wrongdoing we get, the more difficult the situation becomes as you so well describe in your situation, which led to a proposal of marriage to a non-Muslim.


Muslims are not required to marry non-Muslims to save them from the Hell-fire. We are only required to convey to them the message and invite them to Islam. Allah guides whom He wills to His Religion.


If this young woman is convinced that Islam is for her, why doesn’t she take Shahada as a profession of her submission to Allah? If she is in doubt, why do you think your committing your self to marriage with her will convince her of the truth of Islam?


Muslims can marry people of the book; it is lawful in Islam. But, why would you take such a risk with your present Muslim family and the future of your children in a marriage to a Christian to raise them as Muslims if she herself does not believe? Are you concerned that Allah will question you about that matter on the Day of Judgment?


We pray that Allah will guide you in this time of trial and testing. We pray that He will purify our hearts and our intentions to submit to His Will and purposes in all that we do. May Allah bless you, Dear Brother, and draw you nearer to Him.